Why would a married woman cheat with a married man

Why Would A Married Woman Cheat With A Married Man Accessibility Links

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Why would a married woman cheat with a married man

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Why Would A Married Woman Cheat With A Married Man

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The relationship ended awfully. Situations are a lot more nuanced than they appear to be. I think these women, myself included, truly believe that they can make this work without anyone getting hurt and they truly do care not only for the husband but also his family.

Our relationship started off with him being my mentor and helping me at work. Very few people knew that he was married.

He never wore a wedding ring. He's very much an alpha male. He was smart, confident, and sure of himself. He's also 10 years older than me, which made me look up to him.

At work, he gave me praise on my performances, which made me feel validated in my role and made me feel more competent.

He was very traditional, and I felt safe with him. Our relationship went from mentor to friend to lover. It was after our first kiss he told me that he was married.

I couldn't believe it. It was like, With all this time that we spend together, how could you have a wife? Then he started explaining how she was verbally abusive and I felt bad for him.

I rationalized his wife away. There were times when I felt like it was wrong and a line was crossed. He brought me to the house he lived in with his wife she moved out and across the country and that made me uncomfortable.

I saw evidence of the fighting they had holes in the wall, broken banisters , and I just wanted to take care of him. His unavailability was a turn-on, the danger of it all.

But it was upsetting because we couldn't do normal couple things. I met some of his friends, but he never wanted to meet mine.

It ended when I quickly learned that all the things he accused his wife of doing, he did the same. He was verbally, mentally, and emotionally abusive toward me.

He almost backhanded me in the face once during a disagreement, but I blocked him, and then he started crying. He drank entirely too much and when that happened, all he did was pick a fight.

They want to be wined and dined, and made to feel like they're appreciated and attractive again. In fact, as Anderson noted, "They were adamant that they were not looking for a new husband.

Many even stated their overt love for their husbands, painting them in a positive light. YourTango expert and writer, Charles J.

As he pointed out, "According to The Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy , nearly 50 percent of married women and 60 percent of married men will have an extramarital affair at some point in their marriage.

And since those percentages have doubled in the last 10 years, it only makes sense that we get to the heart of the matter and figure out why. Orlando went on a date with three women, whom he referenced in his article.

At one point, he asked one date why she stayed with her husband, and she said, quite frankly, "I love him.

Once she's 'his,' he stops putting in that effort, but she still longs for it. She wants to be desired, seduced, and connected with on a regular basis.

So many men seem to be missing the boat. They start strong, having a decent sense of how to capture a woman at the beginning, but upon entering a relationship they are unprepared for the long haul and investment a successful relationship demands past the dating phase.

The situation starts to reek of complacency and satisfaction in mediocrity," says Orlando. I've been married for less than six months.

According to associate professor of sociology at Missouri State University, Alicia Walker's research, women cheat just as much, if not more, than men do.

It's clear that both women and men cheat , and they often do so in spite of the fact that they still love their partners. Regardless of the reasons a partner cheats, it is and will continue to be an obstacle that causes major problems in the relationship.

No matter the reasons, it's up to you and your partner to decide if you want to work on your relationship after someone cheats. Here are five common reasons why women cheat.

Of course, every situation is unique, but these explanations may help you better understand your partner's actions. There are many reasons why some women struggle with low self-esteem.

Whether they're not happy with their job, their looks, or their relationship, dealing with poor self-esteem could be a reason to cheat.

For instance, if you weren't feeling good about yourself and someone came into your life who gave you compliments and showed an interest in you, you may be tempted to explore something with this new person who makes you feel so good.

In this case, almost anyone could find themselves suddenly willing to throw caution to the wind in order to find the validation they need and are not getting in their current relationship.

If a person is feeling emotionally unfulfilled, it could lead them to stray from their relationship. Some couples may find themselves caught up in their careers and focused on every aspect of life besides their significant other.

She found more nuance to the idea that women cheat for sexual variety. None of the women made the decision to cheat lightly.

After years and sometimes decades of trying to improve things in their marriages, they decided to look elsewhere.

That doesn't mean that women who cheat are always looking to save their primary partnership. Sometimes, it's the opposite: "One of the main reasons women cheat is to blow up a relationship that makes them feel trapped in some way," says Charlynn Ruan, Ph.

The woman tries to make changes, to get their partner to do couples therapy, or push their partner to grow or meet them more emotionally, but when the woman doesn't succeed in these attempts, cheating gives a reason for their partner to leave them.

This often comes with a lot of guilt, Dr. Ruan adds. There is something wrong with me,'" she says. In heterosexual couples, research shows that women are much more likely than men to initiate divorce, and are happier after divorce than men.

But, for women who struggle with guilt over leaving a partner, feel like he needs her, and don't feel their own happiness is enough justification to reach escape velocity in their relationship, cheating gives them a way out.

Or, even if she's not ready to leave, she might act out because she has what psychologists call an "insecure attachment" style.

The good news is these issues are fix-able. We work really hard with people who have an insecure attachment style to find other ways of responding and ways of regulating strong emotions.

If you feel your relationship is off track and your partner may be contemplating or starting an affair, there are certain clues you can keep an eye out for.

Having lots of random coffee dates or meetings with people you've never heard of or never met is also a clue. The biggest red flag is being wacky with the phone — if the phone is always locked and never leaves her sight, even when she's in the shower, I'd worry.

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Subscribe Now. Product Reviews. Home Ideas. To Weiss, only that level of maturity and consideration can keep men from cheating. A mature person keeps their partner in mind wherever they are.

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